Canada Association of Tourism Employees

6 Methods To Constructively Navigate Group Battle

Conflict, Achievement, Justice and Inclusion

It’s easier to treat everyone well when everyone gets along. It’s much more difficult in a conflict. Dealing poorly with conflict – by avoiding it, returning to old habits, overcoming the opposition, giving preference to insiders – confirms the worst fears of employees and can lead to withdrawal and lower productivity. In contrast, dealing well with conflict – through listening, flexibility, accountability, and dealing fairly with everyone – creates credibility and trust. Dealing well with conflicts can also bring people together, clarify the team’s expectations, and increase the sense of togetherness and even the pride of team members.

If your team is not having any major conflicts, this is a good time to build up the basic psychological security of your team. If you have a conflict, it is an even better time!

If you want to implement justice and inclusion in your company on a daily basis, pay special attention to how conflicts are handled. Training with these 6 simple techniques will go a long way. Practice these techniques yourself and / or teach and model them as a facilitator.

Technique 1: Notice and name your inner state

First take a breath. Take three. Take three more. Check within yourself while breathing and perceive your inner state. What are your physical sensations? What emotions do you feel? What’s your mental landscape? Do you have certain thoughts or stories floating around in your head?

Whatever is going on inside you, be aware of it and then try to name it. This is known as “noting” or “marking”. It brings you in touch with what’s going on inside you and at the same time gives you a little distance. This distance may make you feel calmer. You may also find that you can choose your words and actions instead of being driven by adrenaline, emotions, assumptions, past traumas, or whatever was driving the bus before you stopped.

When you pause your autopilot, you can choose your words and actions.

Method 2: get consent

It takes energy, attention, and time to deal with conflict well. When you bring up a conflict with a teammate, don’t just throw it at them and dive in. Instead, you could ask, “I have a conflict that I would like to discuss with you. Are you open to this (now, at a specified time, with the support of a neutral third party …)? “

The informed consent shows respect and gives them the opportunity to work with you to choose the best time and course of action to deal constructively with the conflict.

Technique 3: Practice Transparency

Transparency here means revealing your inner state to others. Conflict is difficult for most people. If you’re so nervous that your stomach cramps, you can say, “I’m so nervous, my stomach is upset.” If you’re concerned that the conflict has already damaged a cherished relationship, you could say, “I’m afraid this has already damaged our relationship, which I really appreciate. I want to clear the air and sort things out between us. ”If you are concerned that this will cause you to lose your job, you could say,“ I am afraid that this will cause me to lose my job, but I am still afraid and my heart is racing. “

Revealing your inner state can feel vulnerable. It shows that the outcome is important, maybe the other person is important to you – which means that they have the power to hurt you. When you uncover this, you can become more human to them – not just a coworker, coworker, or boss. It can also allay their fears that conflict will cause you to reject them or influence others to reject them. Taken together, all of this could soften them in their position and allow them to listen to you better.

Honest vulnerability is particularly powerful in conflicts.

Honest vulnerability is particularly powerful in conflicts.

Technique 4: uncover the effect

Use this transparency technique to let the other person know that they made a difference for you, good or bad. It can simply be framed:

“If you [did or said this], I felt [this emotion or physical sensation]. “

“If you…“is an objective statement about the other person’s words or actions – quoting their words and describing their actions in words that anyone present could use. A fully objective statement is not an attack or accusation and cannot be denied or denied. The neutral words and Actions by one another can help me see the situation more objectively and calmly, which is a huge plus when I’m upset.

OBJECTIVE: “When you turned off your camera while I was talking …”

NOT LENSIVE: “When you ignored me …” (I assume that you ignored me. After all, you could have listened carefully even with the camera switched off.)

Tip: Think of your intentions here. Do not share influence to instigate guilt or compassion, or manipulate others. If you are struggling with this, be especially careful when looking at the If You Are Using Neutral Language section.

“I felt…” is the second part. It’s totally subjective because it’s about what happened inside you. It shows the relationship between the other person’s words and actions and how you are feeling now without blaming them for your internal state. Examples:

  • “When you turned off your camera while I was speaking, I felt a tightness in my chest, I felt discharged, angry and helpless.”
  • “When you said you were angry that Rodrigo left the company, I felt the response and camaraderie.”
  • “When you talked about helping your neighbor rebuild after the flood, I felt respect and gratitude.”

Technique 5: Ask curious questions

Instead of assuming you know, ask questions that you want to explore. What was the other person’s comment or action? How does this problem / conflict affect you? What do you want most? What kind of support do you want? Have you ever experienced something like this? What are you afraid of? What do you hope?

Starting with questions opens the door to a shared understanding of what is going on, what is wanted, and what is possible. Really curious questions human all parties. They bring surprising and unexpected information about each other and past experiences to the surface.

Asking curious questions makes a conversation about people as well as about solving a problem.

Technique 6: Reflect on her words

To reflect means to repeat what the other said in his / her words without judging or interpreting. They can summarize, but not embellish, or attribute intentions they did not state. A good stem of sentences to frame this type of reflection is: “I think I heard you say that …”

Then ask them to confirm, correct, or build on what has been said to expand your understanding. You might ask, “Is this right for you? Would you like to add something? ”

Reflecting in this way will tell you whether you really understood. And you show that you listen well, that you heard what the other said, and that you can hold his words without bias.

The feeling of being heard is extremely strong, especially when the other person has felt invisible or excluded from the conversation.

The feeling of being heard is extremely strong, especially when the other person has felt invisible or excluded from the conversation.

Build a stronger team

Conflicts come and go, but habits are … well, not forever, but at least persistent. When you build skills and habits that support healthy team dynamics, dealing with conflict on your team will become less scary and more productive. Here are some basics you can work on anytime:

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Obsidian creates custom, interactive learning programs that engage learners, accelerate skill development, and improve overall company performance. We are a team of professional learners with a passion for creating effective learning experiences.

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